Have you found yourself traveling to a nearby city with a newly acquainted werewolf in order to look for your missing undead boyfriend who you thought was on the other side of the country only to find out that he lied to youe? Right now, are you digging through your hastily-packed luggage and asking yourself, “What does one wear to an upscale vampire-owned bar?” Worried about looking too plain in front of your fake-date’s ex-girlfriend who just so happens to be a werelynx? It’s an age-old dilemma but never fear! Sookie Stackhouse has all the answer for you.

“I was wearing red — screaming red, fire engine red. I was going to freeze most of the evening, because my dress didn’t have any shoulders, though it did have long sleeves that you slid on separately. It zipped up the back. It flared below the hips, what there was below the hips. My grandmother would have flung herself across the doorsill to keep me from going out the door in this dress. I loved it. I had got it on extreme sale at Tara’s Togs; I suspected Tara had kind of put it aside for me. Acting on a huge and unwise impulse, I’d bought the shoes and lipstick to go with it. And now the nails, thanks to Janice! I had a gray-and-black fringed silk shawl to wrap around myself, and a little bitty bag that matched my shoes. The bag was beaded.

“Turn around again,” Alcide suggested a little hoarsely. He himself was wearing a conventional black suit with a white shirt and a green patterned tie that matched his eyes. Nothing, apparently, could tame his hair. Maybe he should have gone to Janice’s beauty shop instead of me. He looked handsome and rough, though “attractive” might be a more accurate word than “handsome.”

I rotated slowly. I wasn’t confident enough to keep my eyebrows from arching in a silent question as I completed my turn.

“You look mouthwatering,” he said sincerely. I released a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

“Thanks,” I said, trying not to beam like an idiot.”